Our Little Secret Read online

  I don’t even realise I’m still doing it, but I don’t want to listen to her opinion any more. Or the way it resonates with what Faye has told me. Her dreams of a future, of children and settling down, all things I could never offer her. All things that her ex promised and took away.

  But I haven’t promised her more. I haven’t promised her anything.

  ‘She’s a grown woman, Dani, more than capable of looking out for herself. You don’t need to fight her corner.’

  ‘I do if it means protecting her from you.’ She places a hand on my arm to soften the blow of her words. ‘Ti voglio bene, fratellone. But Faye...leave her alone. You are the stuff of dreams, the Italian billionaire from the romance novels she adores. Handsome, honourable, lovable, though you try hard not to be...’

  I swallow down the wedge forming in my throat. The wedge of guilt, realisation and a need to refute it all.

  ‘You will break her heart. You won’t mean to, but...’ She wets her lips and attempts a smile. ‘There are just a few more days left. Surely you can resist her for a little longer?’

  Resist.

  She’s right to ask it of me. Diavolo, I should be telling myself to resist with all that I’ve learned. But to never kiss Faye again, to avoid...

  ‘Please, fratellone.’

  I focus on Dani’s imploring gaze and feel myself nod. ‘You have no need to worry.’

  Because ultimately, Faye knows this is temporary. Just a hot fling. That’s been clear between us, hasn’t it?

  And though I believe it—I do—it still leaves a bitter taste on my tongue.

  ‘Bene.’ She pats my arm and pulls me into a tight embrace. ‘Grazie, Rafael. Grazie.’

  I barely move, as her gratitude makes me feel like a fraud, a liar, a brother who cannot be trusted. And I am none of those things. I’m not.

  Only, Faye... She makes me forget myself.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Danielle and Tyler’s Wedding Week

  Thursday: Seafood and Sailing.

  ‘COME ON, FAYE! It’s no good having a yacht for the day if we’re going to spend most of our time docked in port.’

  Dani’s hanging over the side rail, her bikini-clad body a bronze vision against the vivid blue sky above, her brown eyes dancing as brightly as her teasing grin.

  ‘I’m coming! I’m coming!’ I rush out over the stab of guilt that they’re all waiting for me. But then, I’d hardly been thinking clearly when we set off from the castle this morning, hence why I had to go back for the swimsuit I left behind...for a day of swimming and sailing. Yeah, I’m that distracted.

  I look to the gangway beneath my feet, careful not to lose my footing and end up in the water. Because that would really top the day off, even the last forty-eight hours.

  I’m not missing him. I’m not.

  How can I when we’re virtually always within talking distance? Granted, there are always people between us too, something which feels very much orchestrated by him. And I should be grateful, really, really grateful, that Rafael’s preventing the temptation of anything else happening between us. But my body’s less inclined to agree.

  Yes, it’s just your body, not something more...something more real.

  But opening up to him as I did only made the connection between us run deeper, stronger...and I’d foolishly started to hope, to dream, that he could change. That he could want more from this too.

  Instead, he’s reaffirmed his bachelor status, and it’s left me reeling. And it’s not even his fault. He never promised me more. I was properly warned. I wasn’t supposed to fall for him.

  ‘All okay?’ Dani descends the stairs in front of me and I swear she’s glowing, her happiness radiating.

  ‘Absolutely.’

  She beams at me. ‘You’ll be wanting to change, then?’

  She eyes my maxi dress, which is neither sailing-worthy nor swim-worthy. ‘Please.’

  ‘You brought the red bikini, right?’

  I roll my eyes. ‘Yes. And will you let up? I think Dante and I have established a nice, platonic relationship. I don’t need any more meddling from you.’

  ‘Let me be the judge of that. It’s been too long, Faye.’ She hooks her arm through mine and leads me deeper into the yacht. ‘It’s time you buried Bobby under a stack of adventurous fun, and Dante is just the man.’

  My cheeks flush and I pray my sunglasses help to hide my discomfort, my guilt. If only she knew...

  ‘You can change in the master suite. Nothing less for my awesome maid of honour.’

  I follow her up a set of stairs, taking in the impressive yacht as we go. I’ve been on yachts before, mainly for corporate functions, but this is on another level.

  Does Rafael own this as well? I stop myself. It’s none of my business. None at all.

  The engine noise changes, and I hear what must be the gangway being stowed away.

  ‘And we’re off!’ Dani declares, sending me a smile over her shoulder as she leads us up another floor. ‘This is the owner’s deck. Everyone else is downstairs. Just follow the steps back down two levels and head towards the front when you’re done. In the meantime, you have this to yourself.’

  She waves a hand at the hot tub, with its outer ring of cushions to lounge on, the mini-bar complete with stools, and then backs up towards the double glass doors that lead inside. She pushes one open.

  ‘Off you go, and don’t be too long!’

  I laugh as I bat her away. ‘Yes, Bridezilla!’

  ‘Hey, I’m milking the bride status for all it’s worth.’ She winks as she says it and I give her another playful shove as I pass her by. The door clicks shut behind me and I stop in my tracks.

  Wow. Just, wow.

  In a high-end hotel I’d be impressed, but on water... The contemporary grey, white and chrome soothes as much as it impresses, and I’m almost scared to touch anything for fear of leaving my sweaty fingerprints behind.

  I wander on, checking through the open doors as I go. There’s a walk-in wardrobe bigger than my bedroom at home, a bathroom with a sunken tub for at least six, a glass shower enclosure with double heads and a floating bed that makes the most of a glass-walled one-hundred-and-eighty-degree view of the horizon.

  I carefully place my bag down on the bed and open it up, scouting out the red string bikini—another of the items Dani coaxed me into buying. I pull it out and give a little wince. It’s practically non-existent and very...strappy. Then I think of Rafael seeing me in it and a thrill runs through me.

  It doesn’t matter that he’s reaffirmed his bachelor status, that he appears to have avoided me since we talked about my divorce. He hasn’t faked the way he feels about me when it comes to sex. And this thing screams sex.

  My lips are already lifting as I head for the bathroom. There are only two days left before the wedding, three before we part ways, and I want to maximise every chance I get to enjoy him. All of him.

  But first, a quick shower wouldn’t go amiss. I’m hot and sweaty after my dash in the mid-morning heat, and while I have this place to myself with all the high-end toiletries ready and waiting... Well, it would be rude not to.

  The shower is heavenly, but I don’t hang about. It feels a bit like trespassing on someone else’s domain. Silly, when I know it’s ours for the day. I shut the water off and dry myself before picking up the tiny bundle of red.

  I eye it and take a deep breath. Well, here goes. The bondage-style affair is a bitch to get into, but the effect, as Dani informed me, is totally worth it.

  I only hope Rafael agrees.

  I can’t douse the smile building now.

  * * *

  ‘What is it about weddings that has companies adding a zero to the end of everything?’

  I don’t mind saying it out loud to Dante. Dani and the rest of the guests are all on the lower deck enjoying the
view and the plunge pool. My niece and nephew are haranguing the deckhands, begging for a go on the jet-skis, and Faye... Well, she’s here somewhere, and I’m damned if my body doesn’t want to find out where.

  ‘I wouldn’t know and I don’t plan on finding out. You can afford it though, Raf...’ he gives a carefree shrug ‘...so what does it matter?’

  ‘It matters because I feel like they see you coming. Maybe I should consider setting up a company, one that offers events at reasonable prices. Reckon it would do quite well.’

  Dante erupts into a belly laugh now. ‘You? The billionaire bachelor owning a wedding company? Brilliant. Truly brilliant.’

  I even manage a grin myself. ‘You laugh now, but just you wait...’

  My phone starts up in my chest pocket and I pull it out. ‘I need to take this.’

  It’s the call I’ve been expecting, to authorise payment for some last-minute tweaks to the wedding breakfast. It’s also a good excuse to hide out for a few minutes and rebuild my defences before I have to face Faye again. It’s getting harder and harder to resist being around her, to resist pulling her aside and doing all the wicked things my body so desperately wants to do. And it’s not just the wicked things either; I want to talk with her. About the wedding, my family, her past... Diavolo, anything.

  I’ve managed to keep people between us since I promised Dani but the closer we get to the wedding, the closer we get to parting ways altogether and it’s not sitting well. Not in the slightest.

  And any second now I will see her again, wearing another blasted swimsuit, and I’ll have to keep myself in check.

  I feel another cold shower coming on.

  Call, then shower, then Faye.

  All in that order.

  I swipe the phone to answer. ‘Ciao?’

  I run through the details with the wedding planner as I make my way to the owner’s deck. It’s been a while since I’ve been on the yacht and I really should take more time out to enjoy it. Perhaps when the wedding is over, I should stop for a bit. Spend some time at sea. Get a woman to accompany me, a woman who can get me over my incessant need for Faye.

  And yet the idea leaves me cold...

  ‘Signor Perez? Signor Perez?’

  I silently curse my loss of focus. She’s not even here and she has me distracted. ‘Si, scusi.’

  I throw my attention into the call, go through the adjustments and authorise the payment as I enter the cabin and head for the bathroom. ‘Grazie mille, ciao.’

  I re-pocket my phone, push open the bathroom door and...

  Faye!

  She screams. I scream. I swear my heart has just launched into my throat. And then my eyes dart down her body and back up. What the actual...?

  ‘Turn around!’

  I spin on my heel, my brain and pulse racing. ‘What are you...? Why are you...?’

  I can’t even get the question out. All I can see in my mind’s eye is her body, arms caught up in some...some red...some red...rope?

  ‘I’m getting dressed,’ she squeaks.

  ‘In red string?’ I can’t keep the amusement out of my voice, or the heat that’s surged south. My body saw too much, far too much...

  ‘It’s a...it’s a bikini. Or at least, it’s supposed to be.’

  ‘I’m sorry, I’ll leave you to...’ I wave a hand in the air, my grin growing by the second as I head back through the doorway.

  She makes a sound very akin to a grunt and there’s the definite sound of tearing. ‘Shit.’

  I stop. ‘Everything...okay?’

  ‘Yes. No. Yes. Shit.’

  ‘You want to make up your mind?’

  ‘I don’t believe it. This can’t be happening.’

  ‘Want to explain?’

  I can hear movement and her breath straining out of her but she doesn’t speak. I angle my head to the side—not enough to see her, but enough for her to see me frown. ‘Are you okay back there?’

  ‘I... I think I might need your help.’

  I have to stop my lips quirking up. So many ideas are racing through my mind. None of which are conducive to my brotherly vow.

  ‘What do you need?’

  I hear her blow out a breath. ‘I think I’ve broken my bikini and now I’m stuck.’

  ‘In your bikini?’ I say it slowly. This has to be the most surreal encounter of my life. Finding her naked in my pool comes a close second. ‘We really need to stop meeting like this, you know?’

  It’s my attempt at humour but the flustered breath that comes out next tells me she doesn’t find it funny.

  ‘When you’ve stopped entertaining yourself with my predicament, do you think you could back your way up here and see fit to actually help me?’

  ‘Well, in order to do that, you know I need to turn back round, si?’

  ‘Yes.’ It comes out as a resigned huff and I have to chuckle as I turn.

  ‘Don’t worry, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before...’ Only, it kind of is. She has one arm hooked over her head, the other wrapped around her front, and for the life of me I can’t work out how she got herself into the position let alone how she’s managed to get her breasts pointing this way and that.

  ‘Don’t fucking look.’

  My eyes snap to hers. ‘How can I untangle you if I can’t look?’

  ‘You know what I mean. Stop. Staring. Down. There!’ She gestures at her exposed bits with wild eyes and does a little jig that has the knot of hair on top of her head bobbing and those bits jiggling all the more and begging to be looked at. I want to laugh. I also want to confess that she is still the sexiest women I’ve ever set eyes on, her cheeks all flushed, her crystal-blue depths blazing, her lips parting to puff loose strands of hair out of her eyes.

  I suppress the laugh with what I hope is a sympathetic smile and walk up to her. ‘Okay.’

  Our eyes meet and her fresh, clean scent assails my senses. I see the shower floor glisten behind her and realise she’s not long been out, and all I want to do is back her up into it and soap her up afresh.

  The idea takes over... Her tied up and me...

  ‘You know... I’m not so sure I want to help.’ My eyes return to hers and I let every carnal thought come through in my gaze as I step closer. I mean, give me a break; there’s no way I can walk away from this now. My vow to Dani be damned...

  She swallows audibly. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I mean...’ I reach out and trail my hand down her front, and watch her breath catch and her skin colour as she pulls against her restraints. ‘Do you have any idea how sexy you are?’

  ‘Like this?’ She eyes me, disbelieving, but tiny little breaths escape her parted lips and the fresh rush of colour in her cheeks has nothing to do with embarrassment now.

  ‘You are effectively tied up, cara mia. If I want to touch you... I can.’

  I brush my hand ever so slightly against one nipple and she inhales sharply, her bottom lip trapped in her teeth, her eyes flaring wildly.

  ‘You can tell me to stop and I will untangle you, Faye.’ My voice is gruff, my pulse elevating with my thoughts. ‘Or you can accept your restraints and let me pleasure you.’

  I tweak her nipple. ‘Raf!’

  It comes out like a plea.

  ‘What, cara?’ I circle both nipples now, my touch so light it’s barely there, and she arches into the caress, her nipples forming sharp, teasing points.

  ‘Don’t torment me.’

  ‘No?’ I take another step closer and she takes one back.

  ‘No...’ She drags in a breath and stares up at me in challenge ‘Not unless...’

  ‘Unless?’ I cup both her breasts and feel their heat as I roll my thumbs over each pebbled nub.

  It’s seconds before she can speak, seconds before she unclamps her bottom lip as she fights the pleasure that run
s through her.

  ‘Not unless you finish what you start.’

  ‘Oh, cara mia, don’t you worry about that. I intend to finish...and do a whole lot more.’

  Her eyes blaze and I step forward, forcing her back into the shower enclosure. I raise my hand to the detachable hose and take it off its hook.

  ‘What are you...?’

  I switch it on, ignoring her question as the water pummels the base of the shower. ‘Tell me, cara mia, have you ever got yourself off with running water?’

  ‘But your clothes...you’re going to get soaked.’

  My smile is one-sided. ‘Think I care?’

  Her cheeks flush deeper. ‘Raf... I...’

  I stare down her front to the two exposed peaks that are pleading for attention. ‘Tell me, does this feel nice?’

  I aim the jets at her breasts and watch her writhe beneath the pressure, her arm above her head trying to lower, the other to lift. Her whimper pushes me to go further and I raise my free hand to one breast and pinch it tight. She positively bucks, her head pressing back into the shower wall.

  ‘And this?’ I toy with the other one and watch her eyes close. Her cry is desperate and, cazzo, my cock swells against the zipper of my chinos, desperate for release, the fabric starting to cling as the trouser legs take a soaking. And I don’t care. I have others in the bedroom. Nothing will stop me from taking advantage of this gift.

  ‘I can do anything I want to you right now, Faye.’ Her eyes flare open but they are glazed, hooded. ‘Does that excite you?’

  I know it does. I don’t need her answer but, as I trail the jets of water over her front, I wait for it anyway.

  ‘Yes, Rafael, Yes.’

  ‘Bene.’ I dip my mouth to hers and kiss her slowly but as she leans into me, looking for more, I break away. To control my own need as much as to tease her further.

  ‘Do you want to see how much it excites me too?’

  She nods her head, her eyes lowering to the obvious bulge in my trousers. With my free hand, I unbutton them, lower the zipper and release my cock to her eager gaze.